My Journey into Motherhood: The Birth of My Daughter

February has been a truly transformative month for me for multiple reasons: One - I became a mom. Two - one of the most important people in my life has been birthed. Three - I birthed her!

Captured by Diafagure: *https://www.facebook.com/Diafagure

Preparing for Birth

As an Astrologer, I knew from the very beginning that I'd have a vaginal birth. I was determined to avoid being induced. This was partly due to my desire to have a natural experience. I dislike operations and considered a C-section a big no-no.

Moreover, I was aware that inductions sometimes led to complications. Who wants medical complications? Lastly, I did not want to bear the potential blame if my daughter ever asked, "Mom, why did you choose for me to have this difficult placement in my chart?" Instead of playing god with her life, I decided to let things unfold naturally. I trusted the Universe and my daughter that she would arrive right on time.

And so she did. But boy, did she come in style!

The Beginning of Labor

At 39 weeks + 4 days, I took my final exam as a Psychology student. I was in the midst of an exhausting exam session. On the very next day, at 39 weeks + 5 days, I had my maternity photo shoot. This was a last-minute call to capture memories with Diafagure’s beautifully taken pictures.

Later that same day, I felt a sudden urge to take a nap. My body finally let go of anxiety and stress; I felt a deep sense of peace that took me back to middle school summers, leaving school for a much-deserved break. I had no more exams or responsibilities. This was it!

Until 4 hours later when I started to feel cramps.

At 8 PM, I decided to get up from my nap and play a game of League of Legends. I recall winning the game and bragging to my husband about it. However, I mentioned that the period-like cramps were bugging me. He jokingly mimicked a panic stare, asking, "Ohh, are we in labor yet?" I replied, "Nope, just the usual cramps!" While I enjoyed teasing him about it, I was keeping the real pain for myself.

Hours later, as the clock struck midnight, I was bouncing on the yoga ball. The cramping intensified but remained manageable. I texted my girl friends and my mom: "I don't want to say it, but I might be going into labor soon." While the girls were excited, I sensed it might not really be "go time," so I told them to temper their expectations.

The Family Call

My mom, who lives 3000 km and five countries away, didn’t waste a second. She video-called me in a state of obvious panic.

"Should I buy plane tickets? Is it happening?" she exclaimed, smiling wide but clearly nervous. "Never mind, I’m looking at WizzAir right now." I could practically see her finger flying around the camera as she frowned in shock. "No tickets from Birmingham?? We’ll have to drive to London and fly from there..."

“Mom, it could be a false alarm,” I interrupted, rolling my eyes. Adult or not, you can’t upset your mom at any age. "Contractions come and go, it's no guarantee that I will give birth soon."

"Soon or not, my labor with you was only three hours long and started with period pains!" She was nearly penetrating the screen with her excited stare. I thought she might pop through the screen and whisk me into a car to rush to the hospital. "I have a feeling you will give birth tonight."

I chatted with her, sharing stories of her own labor with my brother and myself. Hearing other people's birth stories had helped me feel prepared and understand that every experience is unique.

"How do you plan to handle this?" she asked, interrupting my train of thoughts.

"What do you mean?" I replied, puzzled. She regarded me with nervous excitement.

"You mentioned something about Venus and not wanting to give birth today!"

The Astrological Concerns

She was right. Venus was in Pisces, the zodiac sign she is exalted in. However, on that day it was at 29 degrees, halting the positive influence of this planet. With Cancer Retrograde Mars already in the sky, I wanted my daughter to love herself and have healthy relationships in life.

People born with Venus at 29 degrees often have challenges due to their tendency to idealize love and choose unsuitable partners. I didn’t want my daughter to struggle emotionally, especially when it came to relationships.

“Yes, Venus,” I acknowledged, impressed that she recalled my astrological observations. “But Venus enters Aries at 10 AM tomorrow. I’m sure I won’t give birth before then, so we should be safe.”

My mom seemed skeptical but remained silent. She showered me with virtual kisses and asked to be updated on everything. Little did she know that my next update would include a picture of her granddaughter...

The Contractions Intensify

At 1 AM, I wrapped up the call with my mom. As I set my phone down, I noticed that the cramps had intensified into real contractions. They came and went, making it difficult to breathe or even catch a moment of sleep.

"Shoot," I gasped as the realization hit me. "It's happening."

My husband, always attentive, noticed my struggle and prepared. "Let me get the bags. You start timing them," he instructed.

I headed to the bathroom for a quick fix of my eyebrows. I could not meet my daughter without them! Timing my contractions while applying mascara, I saw they were already eight minutes apart.

It had only been 40 minutes since I spoke to my midwife, so I hesitated, wanting to confirm their consistency. Remembering the comment she made about drinking coffee, I thought of coffee shops on our route to the hospital. I didn’t respect the one rule she gave me about laboring at night. How could I let her go to the hospital without her caffeine fix?

After a moment, I checked the contraction timing app again. They were now six minutes apart and becoming increasingly painful. The realization hit me: I am in labor, I will give birth soon!

Ready for Hospital

My husband finished packing, and I called Gina. She advised me to go to the hospital. Before long, we were on our way. The city looked beautiful at night, with empty streets and just the two of us on this crucial ride.

“You got this,” my husband reassured me, holding my hand. “We only have five minutes left, and we'll be there. That’s basically only one set of contractions before we arrive.”

I felt both excited and nervous. I wanted an epidural, but the closer together my contractions became, the more I worried the anesthetist may not be able to administer it in time.

This fear quickly turned into a reality when we arrived at triage, and a very sleepy on-call doctor checked my cervix.

"You are not dilated at all," he said, frowning at my spread legs. He continued, "Are you sure you’re having contractions?"

Did he just say that?

"Are... are you sure? It hurts like hell."

I felt like the world might split in two.

"Look, I made the 15-minute drive here, and I have painful contractions four minutes apart..." I pleaded, desperate as another contraction hit.

The doctor appeared puzzled by my reaction. Finally, he shrugged in resignation. "Okay, let’s get you admitted. But just so you know, it will take some time before you give birth."

I nearly rolled my eyes but thanked him, making my way to the reception to get signed in. Gina was waiting for me, and relief washed over me at having her support.

Walking into the hospital room, she handed me medication to help soften my cervix. "Take this," she instructed. "We’ll check you again later."

The Labor Experience

We established a rhythm where I walked around the room, singing. When a contraction struck, I called for my husband to push against my lower back. This helped reduce the pain, although I felt overwhelmed by lack of sleep. We kept this up until around 6 AM when I called my midwife.

"Come check me! Contractions are three minutes apart, and I refuse to believe I am not dilated," I pleaded, barely recognizing my voice.

Fortunately, not long after, I was greeted by a smiling Gina checking my cervix.

"Great news! That’s three centimeters," she declared. "We can get you on an IV and send you upstairs for an epidural!"

A wave of relief flooded me. Finally, my body was on board!

“By the way…” Gina interjected, “When do you want her to arrive?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “Whenever she wants? But I hope it’s after 10.”

“Why's that?” she asked.

I shared my astrology concerns, explaining that I wished my daughter to avoid challenges in love.

Gina smiled warmly, genuinely interested in my story. Just then, a contraction hit.

"Ooh... another one’s coming!"

“That’s okay, let me help,” she said as she pushed on my lower back. “Don’t worry. We’ll get you an epidural at 7, get you pushing by 9, and the baby will be here at just the right time! Sound good?"

“Aye! I like that plan.”

After the IV was in, we went upstairs for the epidural procedure. I was nervous because my contractions were so intense, I could hardly breathe. The anesthetist informed me that I would not be able to move during the procedure, and I had to breathe through contractions.

That was terrifying.

However, just as I got into position, the anesthetist paused, then asked, “How big is your scoliosis?”

That's right. I have scoliosis — a condition that complicates the anesthetic process. I had always brushed this off, not thinking it would affect me. But after several attempts, the doctor was not successful.

Just as I was about to panic about giving birth unmedicated, I heard the anesthetist sigh. She called in another doctor.

When Doctor Number Two arrived, I sensed he would succeed.

And he did! First try, and I felt the immediate relief wash over me. Tears threatened to stream down my face with relief and overwhelming joy. My husband walked in wearing scrubs, excitement radiating from him.

"Look how cool I look!" he exclaimed.

“You do look cool!” I affirmed. “Blue is totally your color!”

We shared a laugh and exchanged updates before finally catching some much-needed rest.

The Final Stretch

About half an hour later, Gina woke me up.

"Lorena, please don't panic, but we can't get a hold of your OB."

Her face revealed serious concern.

I thought to myself, No problem! I can deliver this baby alone!

However, looking back, I didn’t want just anyone; I wanted my OB there. He had been a comforting, trustworthy presence. But I refocused my energy; I was in labor!

Fortunately, my OB arrived within thirty minutes, eliciting sighs of relief from everyone in the room.

“Mrs. Costin, how are you doing?” he asked excitedly.

“You know, doc, just ready to have a kid!” I smiled. “This epidural is great, too!”

“That’s awesome. Can we get you to walk around for a bit?” he suggested, looking at my husband. “And you hold her. Make sure she doesn’t fall!”

My husband seemed startled, but I reassured him, “It’s okay; I’ll let you know if I feel faint.”

After a few laps around the floor, I began to feel ready to push. Despite the epidural, I felt pressure and control, knowing I would be okay.

Gina suggested letting the epidural wear off a bit for better pushing.

I shook my head. “I can do it with the epidural. Just refresh my dose when it’s time.”

Another hour passed, and at 9:45 AM, I was fully dilated. It was time to push. Without getting into too much detail, I can say it was an overwhelming but beautiful experience. My baby arrived just under an hour later.

However, she came from an odd angle and was in distress, resulting in an episiotomy and suction assistance.

Seeing her cry for the first time on my belly was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. But I also experienced overwhelming sadness when she was taken away for oxygen. I felt a deep loss, as my body had cradled her for nine months, and now she was being whisked away.

The moment I first held my daughter <3

I sobbed from the pain of childbirth and emotional overwhelm. The idea of losing her during delivery was terrifying, but a few hours later, she was finally in my arms.

This journey into motherhood has revealed to me an immense capacity for love, and I have realized I am more powerful than I ever knew. I can’t wait to see her grow and build our relationship. I will cherish every single moment with her, including those frustrating nighttime hours when she fusses and cries. It’s in these hard moments that we come out stronger, fueled by the powerful, never-ending source of unconditional maternal love.